Just had a conversation with A*. Apparently she is less than pleased that I brought up the same topic again. The problem I addressed - and one that finds itself recurring - is her lack of affection or attention towards me. I feel as though I am very affectionate with her, and that I try to be expressive. Her nature is less affectionate and expressive, and thinks that I am more affectionate than she is used to. Moreover, she seems to be willing to lay the relationship on the line about this. That's a scary, albeit strong, concept.
At a minimum, in the future, I need to be sure not to address her lesser levels of expression and affection, as they put her on the defensive. And just so I am certain, she has told me that if she has a problem with me, she'll let me know.