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Here I am in NYC - though I'll soon be departing for Boston.
I spent part of the morning waiting for an old friend, an administrator at Columbia to return from a staff meeting. I brought her a book, "The Peter Principle", highlighting some quasi-scientific observations regarding how
workers get promoted to the point at which they're ineffective and incompetent in their duties. I was uncertain if she'd find it humourous, as I'd hoped she would read it in that way; she's a rather positive person though, and it might be a bit negative for her tastes.
I also discovered to my unhappy surprise that another administrator, Temi, is no longer employed by the department, and that Sofia, the well-spoken sophomore that I recall, is now the student leader of an organization that I helped build. Times have definitely changed.
Michele asked a good question last night... why am I with her? She admitted to me that she had learned a great deal from me, including the need to focus on personal growth, etc., but that she believed I had not learned a great deal from her... she begged to know what I thought she offered me.
This, though she did not know it, was the question that has been at the core of my mental explorations regarding my relationship with her. In fact, for 2+ years now, this very question has haunted me and led to the difficulties we've had in our relationship.
So, not desiring to adversely affect her feelings in such a way as to ruin our evening, I decided to don my coy personna and respond in a humourous way that would ease her mind and allow us to get through the trip without alarm nor event.
However I still remain bothered - the premise of which is quite simple - why should anyone be with anyone else if not for growth? Tradition? - probably a bad reason.. There are no doubt many other possible reasons, but none feel more positive than mutual growth.
And I do not believe that I have grown a great deal over the past 1-2 years through my relationship with Michele. So I am bothered; and worried.
Enough.
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